Many of the problems with the hotwifing lifestyle come down to the differences in the ways men and women think.

Never underestimate the magnitude of the task ahead of you if you want to get your wife or girlfriend to cuckold you.

The trick isn’t just to get her to have hot sex with other guys but also to STAY emotionally faithful to you AND involve you to whatever extent you want to be involved. More on that later in another article.

See, women view sex very differently from men. Ask your other half (be subtle) and I pretty much guarantee she’ll tell you, in effect, “I can’t sleep with a guy unless I like him”.

And of course, you don’t really want her getting “feelings” for him, because cuckolding and the hotwifing lifestyle is NOT a natural part of her (any hotwife life blog telling you it is are lying to you). And the danger here is she’ll slip over the ridge into the next valley, so to speak. As in, she’ll revert to her monogamous state again… but with HIM.

So, the quandary — how to get her to have sex him but not fall in love with him.

The way Joss and I handle this is to compartmentalise things. I love to hear what she’s been up to and I love watching even more… but I don’t try and compete.

There are things she likes that I don’t — but other guys do. So she does those with them and other things with me. The mistake guys make is to want all the same stuff — and that’s what causes the problems.

I mean if having sex with you is completely different from having sex the other guy, then there’s no conflicting desires or competition. Nothing to choose between, right?

That’s kind of where we started from, anyway.

Something for you to think about, I reckon?

So Joss and I changed things around a bit.

Because we’ve been into the hotwifing lifestyle a while, we realised there was a danger of it becoming stale

I mean, if you live by the beach, the chances are you rarely go sunbathing and swimming, right?

Right.

That’s the danger of having regular lovers when you’re in the hotwifing lifestyle

It can be too much like a “relationship”. Remember: the hotwifing lifestyle is about you and your wife and no one else.

So we tackled it in two ways: first by going deeper, and then by going wider.

I’ll explain what I mean by that anon, but in brief it means “kinkier” and “more partners”.

It’s been a lot of fun, I can tell you.

One of the most common things I’,m asked is what’s my favourite part of the hotwife lifestyle.

Not really an easy question to answer because there’s just so many things I love about it, despite the occasional emotional ups and downs I (still) get from time to time. Hey, I’m human and in low moments I’m subject to all the emotions everyone else is, too.

The thing is we’ve been in the hotwife lifestyle so long now, we’re firmly in the 4th stage of it, were it’s become something that’s actually part of our relationship.

hotwife lifestyle image

Joss has grown into the role and has changed in the way she views herself. In effect hotwifing isn’t something she just does; a hotwife is now something she is as part of her identity. That’s something anyone getting into the hotwife lifestyle has to be aware of. Do it for long enough and the chances are your wife will reach this point. She no longer has to worry about how to be a hotwife… because the¬†hotwife lifestyle now comes to her naturally.

This probably sounds great, but as always there’s a dark side to the hotwife lifestyle, too.

It’s not something we’ve discussed but knowing Joss as I do my guess is now if I asked her to stop, she wouldn’t. Or maybe she would if it was causing me genuine distress, but it would be a struggle to get her to see that and I’m not sure I’d be successful. It’s not that she’d be uncaring or unloving — it’s really just that…

She genuinely wouldn’t be able to see a reason for stopping the hotwife lifestyle.

Just something for you to be aware of. It’s a familiar pattern I see with couples, and sometimes it causes real problems. In some ways the hotwife lifestyle is something it’s hard to get out of once you’re in it. You can’t go back because you can’t unfuck someone.

But for me, certainly at the moment, it suits me perfectly. We don’t share our lifestyle with many people in the “real” world, but those who do know are intrigued, and, I suspect, somewhat incredulous that it can work. The men I know seem to feel sorry for me, even though I can tell it excites them too.

They seem to have the impression this is something Joss has done all on her own — that she’s told me she’s going to fuck other men and I can like it or lump it.

Of course, in reality it was me who wheedled and cajoled her into doing it, and even though she’s now grown into the role and being a hotwife now forms part of her core identity and it would be hard if not impossible to get her to stop, I was definitely the driving force behind it. You want to know how to get your wife to be a hotwife?

Persistence, and selling her on the idea it’s going to meet whatever fantasy she has (and she will have them — you just have to find out what they are and figure out a way for the hotwife lifestyle to give it to her).

What I get from the hotwife lifestyle

Well, obviously there’s the fantastic sex Joss and I have between us. And we do. We fuck more now than we did before we got into the hotwife lifestyle, and it shows no signs of slowing down. Her fucking other men makes us horny for each other, and that’s true whether I’m there in person watching or listening to her, or whether she’s telling me the details while we fuck.

Something else she’s done more and more in the last year or so is become much more of a tease to me. If she knows she’s got a hotwife date coming¬† up she’ll often put a ban on sex for a week or two beforehand. She often wants to save herself so she’s horny and dying to cum for him.

Of course, that just gets me climbing the walls, especially as she’ll deliberately cuddle up and tease me with her hands, mouth and body but not let me cum, telling me everything she’s going to do with her lover and how I can’t have her or cum until he’s had her.

I can’t begin to tell you how fucking sexy that is.

But if I really had to put my finger on the hottest things about the hotwife lifestyle I’d say they’re:

  1. Watching a guy penetrate her. She knows I love to see this and so when I’m watching she’ll play up to the role – opening her legs extra wide and making him slide in real slow, looking me right in the eyes as he does. The best part is how as he gets in all the way she gasps and moans and loses all focus… I’m completely forgotten as she starts to move her body against him.
  2. Seeing a guy cum in her. And it’s even better when they’re cumming together. I can’t explain it, but knowing what he’s feeling and knowing how much she loves to feel a man cumming in her makes it all electric (especially if she’s not let me cum for a couple of weeks).
  3. The sheen of sweat. Hard to explain this one, because it’s not just about seeing her fucking. Imagine, her lover’s on top of her, deep inside and she’s got her legs wide and her knees right up. Her arms are wrapped around him and they’re kissing and entwining their tongues, bodies pressed tightly together. Sometimes they’ll look into each other’s eyes and smile, whispering dirty things to each other. And their bodies are covered in that sheen of sweat. I think it’s so hot because it’s so fucking genuine. It’s not just fucking like it is in, say, most porn films. They’re really in the moment together and there’s a connection there that’s way beyond just fucking. I mean, she’s not in love with him or anything but she likes him and right there and then the thing she wants to be doing most in the world is grinding against him and making them cum together.

Anyway, that’s what I get from it all.

Just bear in mind we’re all different, so don’t go thinking what works for me will necessarily work for you. Like any lifestyle the hotwife lifestyle is just something you have to mould around yourself and your own preferences.

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