Hotwifes and the Hotwife Lifestyle

by Crowe on March 10, 2011

My name’s Erasmus Crowe, and I’m the lucky, loving husband of the most delicious Hotwifes, Josselyn.

Josselyn and I have been into the Hotwifes lifestyle for about 7 years now, something I still can hardly believe since it was my fantasy for a long time before I dared broach the subject with her and then it was a good while before I could get her to come round to my way of thinking.

I won’t pretend it’s always been easy because it’s not, and even now there are times when she’s out with her lover I get that frisson of fear or jealousy and wonder…

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It’s not like I don’t know what they’re doing because I do – I am fortunate enough that Joss does involve me to the extent of allowing me to watch and listen sometimes, although that’s not a condition of the Hotwifes lifestyle for us. It used to be, kind of. Well, what I mean is we have an agreement now that I’m involved because one of the mistakes we both made was I was too pushy about wanting to know and leading myself into jealousy, and that fed her need to keep some things private. But that’s a long time ago and I’m getting ahead of myself a bit.

I can’t speak for Joss, but I do know she’s taken to the hotwifes lifestyle and grown into her role as a beautiful woman who is now free to express her sexuality with other men, with my full knowledge, consent, approval and even urging (not that she needs that now). She’s not ‘dominant’ although there is some dominance interplay in our relationship, especially when it comes to other men and her denying me sex for short periods of time before and sometimes after she’s been with her lovers.

What does she get out of the hotwifes lifestyle? There’s the sex, of course, both with her lovers and with me (the sex between us is vastly improved since she took up the hotwifes thing and I know the sex she has with her men is fantastic, too, but more on that in other posts).

But I think she also gets the pleasure of more emotional intimacy with me, too. There’s a lot of that, much more than there used to be and that has to be good.

Just a few things about hotwifes though:

Hotwifes are not for everyone. Not every woman wants to do it, and not every man can stand it, even if he thinks he can. There are loads of stories of women becoming hotwifes and then the first time they do it, all hell breaks loose.

Not all hotwifes are dominant and not all of their men are submissive. For me it’s about the sex and seeing her and the whole universe of erotic things we’ve wrapped around the hotwifes lifestyle. For instance, some people pretend every hotwifes husband likes ‘creampies’… but I don’t and wouldn’t even want to try one. I love her coming home hot, wet and horny but I wouldn’t eat her out until she was clean. That’s just me, so sue me. I’ve also got the ‘right’ to sleep with other women if I want to, but the truth is I just don’t. The hotwifes lifestyle to me is about her having sex with other men and other women just don’t interest me.

There’s a balance between knowing what your hotwifes up to and her privacy. This was a really hard one to get to grips with for me and that’s why I’ve written a lot about it in my free hotwifes guide. To keep it short, though, I had to realise while it was about us in the end, sometimes, and maybe often and maybe even mostly, when she was actually doing it with him she wasn’t thinking about me, even if I was there watching. Sometimes it is and she plays with me (in a manner of speaking) because she knows I’m watching and get turned on by her getting it on, but then sometimes she is oblivious to me and just goes for it and I love that. Now it’s a real turn on for me to see her really, really wanting a guy and moving her body eager to have him inside her, but at first I had that sick feeling in my stomach sometimes, like I was going to lose her or something.

Last thing now… I remember the first time Joss ever did it, she met the guy – David – in a hotel room not far from where we lived. She was nervous before she went, and she was back much sooner than I expected — she was gone only a couple of hours (she almost never stays out all night although I know some hotwifes do. If she wants to spend the whole night with a guy she brings him home and that’s when I sometimes get to watch or if she wants to be cruel and teasing she makes me stay in the spare room so all I can do is hear her begging him to do it to her… I don’t know what I like the most… her cumming or seeing/hearing another guy coming in her).

She walked in the door and stood there in the evening sun — I remember she was wearing a short powder-blue dress and sandals, and I thought she looked terrific. She was still flushed from making love… couldn’t take my eyes off her… and suddenly my mouth went dry and my heart was hammering in my chest and I was thinking “oh s*it… what have we done!

I managed to croak, “How was it?

She looked at me and shrugged and said, “It was OK“.

We looked at each other for a long, long moment and then both burst out laughing and fell into each other’s arms.  “It was incredible” she breathed into my ear, “he made me cum 4 times and I’ve never made so much noise in my life!“.

And that was it – I was as hard as iron and I has her right there on the floor. I came in seconds. I knew it was all going to be OK. We’ve had our ups and downs, but on the whole it has been OK.

And me?

As I said, I’m Erasmus, or Ras to my friends. Joss and I are both active in the Hotwifes community online on several forums and boards, but we’re not using those IDs here because a lot of what we have to say just causes arguments with the loud and opinionated people who like to tell others what to do and can’t stand to have anyone offering a different opinion.

One thing I learned is…

Hotwifes and their men should do it whatever way that pleases them and damn everyone else!

Anyway, this is my first post. I hope you’re lucky enough, if I get any readers to have hotwifes of their own one day.

{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

gian July 9, 2011 at 11:21 am

dear Erasmus,

We are a Dutch couple only just starting on the hotwife path. After years of trying to convince my wife to have sex with other men, I started looking on the internet trying to find a way. Already having found some information I am very glad to find your site. After all I need all the help I can get.And I am looking forward to get your guide to help me further. Great!

greatz from Holland.


Richard July 20, 2011 at 3:15 pm

Hi Ras,

You and I have exactly the same thoughts and fantasies. I also thought about this for a long time before mentioning it to my beautiful wife. Fortunately, she has an open mind when it comes to fantasy in the bedroom. After awhile it has become our normal lovemaking………she even instigates it! She always uses it to get me going….texting me when she’s out, telling me when she sees a hot guy! I know she’s only doing it for my benefit, because she knows it is my greatest fantasy, and she has told me it will just be our fantasy, but I do believe it will happen someday……probably on vacation….in the right time and place…with the right amount of alcohol! Any help to accomplish it would be appreciated. I look forward to the rest of your Hotwife Guide.



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